Wear your feelings on your collar (spelled out in plain stupid English) and never be misunderstood by your idiot human again!
The above are styling suggestions only. You may look better or worse than these cats, and that's for you to come to terms with on your own.
My human used to be an insubordinate slacker. But then I got myself this sweet-ass Pussweek collar pin, and BAM! She has finally realised her true potential! Now she understands that her main purpose in life is to feed me and then get lost. It's a miracle!
MAKES MY INTENTIONS CLEAR
Humans used to misunderstand my affections for friendship. Idiots. But since I stuck this bad boy on my collar there has been no more confusion. I am just here for the food and now everybody knows it. One person thought I was kidding, so I tried to eat their face.
LESS EWW, MORE WOO!
Every now & then some weirdo decides to touch me without consent, and gets their greasy fingerprints all over my precious skin-fuzz. Now, thanks to these amazing communicative collar pins, I am taking back ownership of my body. Thank you, Pussweek!
FINALLY, SOME PEACE!
For some reason, my pain in the ass human used to go on and on about her love life (or lack thereof) ad nauseam. But now she knows I don't give a f**k about her problems so she just cries into her box of wine instead. No wonder you're single, Brenda,
To communicate with lesser species, particularly humans.
Attach it to your collar and wait for your human to notice it.
If your human is too emotionally constipated to respect the message you're trying to convey, they are not the right human for you.
In this case we would advise you to:
A) Leave and never return;
B) Bite them on the leg several hundred times; or
C) Poo in their shoes to establish dominance.
Well... technically you could attach it to something else, like your bed, or your scratching post, or the rug. It might not make the same impact though.
They're all the same size.